HORSE DEFINITIONS

Auction: A popular social gathering where you can change your horse from a liability to an asset.

Bleacher Butt: The numb feeling you get when you sit to long on bleachers at a horse show.

Colt: What your mare gives you when you want a filly.

Eau De Barn Toilette: That natural smell one gets from mucking stalls in 90+ degree weather.

Endurance Ride: End result when your horse spooks and runs away with you.

Feed: Expensive substance used to manufacture manure.

Fence: Decorative structure built to provide your horse something to chew on.

Grooming: Fine art of removing dirt from your horse's body and applying it to your own.

Hock: Financial condition of all horse owners.

Longeing: Training method where the horse exercises his owner by spinning him in circles until dizzy.

Manure Sinus: That clogged up feeling from Inhaling to much arena/manure dust.

Pinto: Green coat pattern found on a freshly-washed gray horse left unattended in the stall for 10 minutes.

Rasp: Abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from knuckles.

Rider Colic: Gastrointestinal result of eating at horse-show food stands.

Rider Legs: The manly muscled legs developed from years of riding in 2 point.

Riding: The art of keeping the horse between you and the ground.- LONDON TIMES

Saddle Butt: A phenomenon where your butt is widened from being in the saddle too long.

Show Trainers: Trainers only capable of riding in circles.

Stall: What your rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a horse show.

Stall: (alt) See Fence.

Three Gaited Horse: A horse that; 1) trips, 2) stumbles, 3) falls.

Tack: See Fence