Join the NCMA

Does your horse have knee action? Do the words sewing machine" come to mind when describing your horses movement? Then the National Crappy Movers Association (NCMA) welcomes you! Founded in 1998, this Association was created to preserve the jackhammer like movement and total lack of symmetrical conformation of the recreational horse of years past. We here at the NCMA recognize that all horse enthusiasts have at one time had a horse that made them want  to wear two bras and duct tape themselves to the saddle. Up until this time there has been no association recognizing horses of this quality. Qualifications for registry are the following:

1. Movement must be of sufficient quality to cause male riders genitalia to assume a new position several inches higher than at rest.

2. While in a forward gait the horses knee joint MUST flex to at LEAST 90 degrees upon lifting.

3. Headset. Horses that root at the bit are preferred. Stargazers favorable. Nose straight out is acceptable. Head tossing very desirable.

4. Tail set must be set at top of horses back and stick up a  minimum of three inches (preferably rubbed out at base.)

Show classes will include Displeasure. A good Displeasure horse should be able to outrun all other horses in the class. Riders must stay off rail at all times. Accidental running over of the judge will not be penalized. Displeasure horses should be ridden in a tight rein. Transitions should take at least 1/4 length of arena. 
Attire - All riders can use hemorrhoid cushions if needed. Jockey goggles are mandatory during the Displeasure class, due to excessive wind from speed.