Horse Hair: Potentially Dangerous!!!

In a press release today, the National Institute of Health has announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses. This substance, called "amo-bacter equuii" has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:

  1. Reluctance to cook.
  2. Reluctance to perform housework.
  3. Reluctance to wear anything but boots.
  4. Reluctance to work except in support of a horse.
  5. Physical craving for contact with horses (may be an addiction).

Beware: If you come in contact with a female human affected by this substance, be prepared to talk about horses for hours on end.

This has been a public service announcement.