IF HORSES WERE COMPUTERS

1. Every time you opened the arena gate to exit, your horse would whinny, "Are you sure?"

2. Every time you changed barns, you would have to get a new horse.

3. Every time you pulled on your boots, (or "rebooted"), you'd have to enter a password.

4. If your horse needed a training tune-up, you'd have to call a special 800-number and jump through six vice-mail hoops to get the right trainer. And you'd be billed by the minute.

5. As soon as you had your horse going just so, you'd need to upgrade to Horses2000.

6. Your horse wouldn't be able to "access" anyone's riding style except yours.

7. Other breeders would develop horses three times as reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to ride as yours. But they could only travel to 5% of the shows.

8. Your barn cat wouldn't be able to "find" the barn mouse.

9. You'd have a push button horse. But if you pushed the wrong button, you'd delete him.